I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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