remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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