I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If I die, sorry about rent.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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