Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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