if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
