Do you still have your period?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize