we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
