He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
