Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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