Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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