just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
