I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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