Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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