So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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