Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I want a musical about memes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
