I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its not stalking. its research.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
