I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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