"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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