I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
