I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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