wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
