ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize