I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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