i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
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It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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