Sry I called you an 8
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
