Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
