On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
