your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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