JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your cock deserves a montage
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize