WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
