Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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