I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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