idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's shark week go big or go home
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
