and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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