I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
