I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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