Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (565)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  is swine flu sexually transmttd?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ha no, why?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad

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  (248): is swine flu sexually transmttd? (313): Ha no, why? (248): sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad http://tfl.nu/84sc
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (635)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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  (630): I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else http://tfl.nu/09lv
  Replies (13) Good night (4268) Bad night (826)
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  (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

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  (760): my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night http://tfl.nu/6buy
  Replies (4) Good night (2533) Bad night (764)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

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  (402): Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week. http://tfl.nu/y6xg
  Replies (16) Good night (3911) Bad night (1090)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.

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  (940): you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can. http://tfl.nu/3ex5
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (998)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.

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  (573): and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat. http://tfl.nu/xl3m
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (610)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (10) Good night (3518) Bad night (632)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...

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  (360): Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one... http://tfl.nu/mmlz
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (452)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

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  (406): Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night. http://tfl.nu/g42n
  Replies (3) Good night (1100) Bad night (455)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.

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  (613): you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers. http://tfl.nu/797e
  Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (404)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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  (+61): IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES http://tfl.nu/noxs
  Replies (6) Good night (902) Bad night (364)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"

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  (216): We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence" http://tfl.nu/k55r
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (272)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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  (501): Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay. http://tfl.nu/a936
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (460)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (395)

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