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• (480): View more from Arizona

  FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i think i just asked a donut if it was ok

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken

  (716): View more from New York

  Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future

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