he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"