I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.