I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I would fuck him just for his dog