you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that