I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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