i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize