someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
