It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize