he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
