Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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