Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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