Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
