Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
