I am in a vortex of obligation.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
