I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize