Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
