The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
