Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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