He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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