NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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