so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
