my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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