is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize