you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
