No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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