Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
