Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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