Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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