Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
