Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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