So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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