jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
