Don't you send me to vm
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
